I'm a Transfan because
by IvoryCrawler
Summary: My character explores what makes her and others Transfans as the Autobots and Decepticons watch on and feel a bit weird!
1. Ivory the Transfan

It was close to midnight; a waning moon outside, stars visible through thin cloud cover. In every house on the block, lights were off, families asleep- or at least we can assume seeing as everyone on the block is old people or parents with very young kids- except for one household, where the light still shines in one room.

In this one room, so late at night, is a young woman. We'll call her Ivory.

Here she is typing away, frowning in concentration, mumbling to herself softly so as not to wake anyone. And on her desk, and around her room sat, stood, walked, talked, recharged and any other activity they could get up to, were Transformers toys. The Autobots and Decepticons that she knew of from her favorite movies, cartoons and comics, Transformers. Bots of both factions, just hanging out around her room, comfortable and passive, simply enjoying the time they had online.

On her desk sat Prowl, Jazz, Soundwave, and Ratbat, hanging from the cassette players shoulder. They chatted amongst herself as she typed away, rectifying a mistake that apparently she had made, though she didn't care to take the blame, believing that in this case, she was in the right.

"So damn picky." She muttered again, out loud. Those nearest her looked up to see who she was speaking to. Realizing she was speaking to her computer, Jazz climbed up her shoulder to see what it was that was so picky.

"I'm a Transfan because…" He read aloud. "You have said to someone, 'You

have failed me…' Like Megatron." Megatron glanced over but with a scowl, decided not to bother.

"Yeah. It's a list of things that I do and I know others do that show they are fans of Transformers, you guys." Ivy explained, "You could only do one or two of these or all of them. But these are the ones that are also not…completely insane. I don't think anyone likes the crazy ones." She trailed off, babbling distractedly as she was known to do when writing.

"See this was originally posted up without all these little side stories, or this first chapter, just something funny for people to read and relate to. But the site it was on got picky, and said it couldn't stay up cuz it was a list and not a story. So I'm going back and adding things because of their pickiness." Jazz followed along vaguely, entertained by what she had written.

"Ya goin' tah war wit' em pretty lil ladeh?" Amusement was evident in his vocalizer, getting her attention.

"I wouldn't say war..." She grumbled.

"Just you being stubborn and illogical." Prowl spoke up.

"Solution: Sound. Probability: Success: High." Soundwave input as well. Ivy grinned at all three.

A few minutes later, spent in relative silence, it was done. "There. Now to post this and repost my story." She had to move Jazz from her shoulder and the other three from right in front of her, so as not to smack them if she got frustrated…which yes has happened.

"Whoot! Score one for the Ivory! Now onto my next one!"

AUTHORS NOTES:

This is written in response to my story being taken down the first time. Well it's back! And edited to satisfaction of the admins and myself! I'm not saying I'm at war with them. I'm just saying I may or may not have declared myself victor!


	2. I know I'm a Transfan because

How you know you're a Trans-fan:

You start to use their curse words instead of human. "Slag, Frag, Glitch, Pit, Scrap."

You refer to Primus and Unicron

You know all the Alt modes on sight and when you see one, you call it by name.

(You see a yellow Camaro with black racing stripes you say BumbleBee!)

You have said to someone, "You have failed me…" Like Megatron.

You name your car like a Transformer. (Mine's name is ToughGunner)\

You're suddenly answering your friend's questions like a pro, completely unaware of when you became an expert on Sparkbonding, sparklings, and the theories of interfacing.

Your friends ask you about a character and you can give them a decent bio…like a fragging essay of a bio on them.

You have your favorite pairing already picked out and have read a few sad stories about them.

You have some of the merchandise. (few meaning a few t-shirts, keychains, movies, maybe a poster or two. If you have a lot of merchandise, you're not just a fan, you're obsessed and need help.)

You write a fanfiction or two and if their's an OC in it, you add it in with the plot without ruining it too much.

You can have a debate about both sides of the war, fluently with your friends.

You use some of the Transformers terminology: servo, processor, helm, peds, recharge, medbay, berth, alt-mode, etc.

You desire or have picked up Ratchet's habit and skill of chucking things at people with deadly accuracy. (would not suggest wrenches. Humans are a lot more fragile that way…)

You either really want or already have an Autobot or Decepticon symbol tattooed somewhere on your body

You have named a pet after you're favorite character

Make really good fanart about them. (of which I cannot do for the life of me.)

Have cosplayed or attempted to cosplay as them, in bi-ped mode, holoform, or the strange people who try the alt-mode.

You have picked out whose holoform would look like what. (using celebrities or drawing capabilities.)

You've thought of what it'd be like to be a Transformer

You know what type of car you'd want your alt-mode to be

You know your faction and what your function would be.

You read these sort of things, including the "Rules to Living in NEST" sort of stories. (which are awesome by the way.)

You know several of the major TF writers on fanfiction. (Tatyana Witwicky is a good example. Hope I spelt that right…)

You have a favorite series. (movie verse, G1, TFA, TFP, etc)

That's all I can think of right now…if anyone has any other idea shoot me a message and I'll add them! Thanks!

~IvoryCrawler


	3. I know I'm a Transfan because2

How you know you're a Transfan…part 2!

* * *

If anything you see reminds you of transformers.

If you wish you were Cybertronian.

_"You are aware that no matter how hard you wish, this will never become true." Starscream decided to remind me.  
"Yes, funny enough, I know." I grumbled. "But I can still wish! Cuz I mean come on! I can't just turn on a life like holoform and try it out.  
The bots around me took a moment think about that. "Fair enough." _

If you think about whom you'd date if you were.  
_"ooh! So who would you date?" Sideswipe asked from across the room. "None of yo' bee's wax Siders." I told him with a blush. He does not need to know that! _

If you think that transformers are possibly out there somewhere and just haven't come to earth, or they are just doing a really good job hiding.

If you have written any more than two fanfics about them.

_I grumbled under my breath, "Well I had. Just got kicked off for some reason." The bots around me chuckled and pat me to appease me._

If you have written stories with your favorite pairings. [_let's note I didn't say this one aloud because I soooo didn't need to get into a conversation about that with them!]_

If you are an expert on Cybertronian physiology.

If you know all the different theories on reproduction, history, relationships, architecture, biology, etc.

If you have picked the theories you agree with the most and used them in conversations with fellow transfans.

If you randomly quote lines from the show.

If you have picked your favorite versions of the characters (i.e. movie Bumblebee, Prime Ratchet, g1 Optimus)

If you have made your own version of Human Energon. (This one is thanks to PixelusPrime!)

If you've already chosen what you're name would be if you were a Prime. (I would be Nova Prime.)

You use TFWiki constantly, or have moderated/changed some of the info on there because you know it better.

You're back ground on your computer is always some version of Transformers

You know all the theme songs by heart and have them on your iPod or some other music device.

Alright guys! That's as many as I can think up this time around! I do have some shout outs to give though:

Thanks to all my readers, it's still shocking so many liked this so fast! Once again, if I'm missing something, let me know!

~IvoryCrawler


	4. I know I'm a Transfan because3

How you know you're a Trans fan…PART 3!

Holy scrap-puppies guys! Didn't know you'd all like this so much! I started this just for nothing better to do and cuz my friends tease me! Glad ya like it though! If ya could, go check out my Transformers story I've started on my profile…please! If ya like it, shoot me a message, I'm loosing inspiration for it and need some encouragement…inkdragon13, Blackhooves,

Here's another list for ya!

Well, you know you're a Trans Fan when you look for spoilers online.

You are a huge fan when you dream about going on missions with your favorite faction.

Saw Transformers Prime Soundwave's face in the third one.

You know you're a Transformers fan when you make your own Transformers stuff.

You are a big fan when you can tell Cybertron's full history to the creation  
of the Thirteen up the Autobot-Decepticon war like a history book.

When you call people that annoy you scraplets.

When you automatically think of transforming and driving/flying away from anywhere you don't want to be instead of just walking out.

You cried when one of your favorite transformers died in movie or cartoon. (Oh my gosh totally! I don't handle really good character's death's well…)

"_Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope. Didn't happen!" Ivory Hazard waved her arms around as she pushed her computer away from her. She was just too distressed. There, in the print of the website, burning through the darkness in her room, was the worst news. "Nope! Didn't happen!" She reiterated, incredibly upset!_

_For some stupid reason, some fool put it that nearly every character that she'd spent so long reading about, watching on her computer and dreaming of fighting with….DIED A BLOODY DEATH! Or would that be Energon-y death?_

_Either way! They couldn't die! Nope! She stood up from her bed and walked around the dimly lit room, flapping her arms in her distress. "Nope!"_

_From shelves, her bed and various other places, bots watched on, believing her to have finally lost all sanity…if she had any in the first place. This was why she wouldn't let them read with her. It'd upset not just her but everyone then!_

You're phone has a faction logo or picture of a character.

You curse using Primus and Unicron appropriately.

You've read at least a few of the comics. (How sad is it I just recently found out there are comics…)

_Ivory scrolled through images on google, searching for a decent picture of the bot she was looking for. She stumbled across him alright though! As well as an entire website dedicated to Transformers comics. _

"_Seriously? Comics?" She demanded incredulously. Sideswipe looked over her shoulder to see what she was complaiing about now. _

"_Oh! Hey cool! Click on that one! I see me and Sunny!" _

"_Don't call me Sunny!" Sunstreaker shouted over to his twin from the other side of the room._

_She clicked on it, still feeling mildly annoyed that she hadn't known about this before. _

You know all the different theories for interfacing. (don't judge me for this! It's fragging interesting!)

You either really, really love Starscream…or you really, really hate him.

_Sitting, watching the screen, I can't decide, do I love this new version of Starscream…or do I hate him unconditionally? Could he have any redeeming qualities? …oh! No. Nope. Never mind. Hate him. Deffinitely not a fan of this one._

You love to use you're favorite lines from the movies or cartoons.

You love to use the line "Roll out!" Like Optimus does!

_Going to the grocery store for two things. Speaking to sister. "Let's roll out!" _

"_You are such a nerd."_

"_And fragging proud of it!"_

You like to entertain the notion that the Autobots are real, just really good at

hiding…even if that means the Decepticons are real too and hate humans.

You like to think that you're favorite Decepticons would turn good if just for the fact that they are really nice inside though we all now they aren't. (Though it'd be cool if Soundwave were a good guy with his cassettes.)

READ THIS PLEASE

Alright that's all I've got for now. Once again, if you have anymore, let me know! Also, I'm thinking of doing one of those, Rules for living with Cybertronians, that seem so popular right now. If you like the idea, help me get started and shoot me some rules. One last thing! If you have a favorite thing from this list or the other two, and you want to see it in a oneshot, please let me know. I'm really good at one shots! And yes the Transformers would be in it, at your request. THANKS FOR READING GUYS!

~IvoryCrawler


	5. I'm a Transfan bcChristmas Special!

Hey guys! Special Christmas edition to "I know I'm a Transfan because…"

Enjoy!

It was finally December and it was actually appropriate to listen to the ridiculous amount of Christmas music that was everywhere. The house was slowly getting decorated with garland, trees and various other things. And it made no sense to the Bots and Cons that were there.

"The pit is all of this about?" Ratchet grumbled as he looked at the tree and all the unhung ornaments laying out.

"That is a tree. It looks like a pine, I hear those are very pretty and smell nice but we can't necessarily smell as much as process the particles that are put into the air. I'm not sure why it'd be in the house. You think it's got something to do with all this Christmas stuff?" Bluestreak came up and asked, babbling away.

"You're right Blue." Ivory interrupted gently. "It's a part of the Christmas tradition, however it had at one point been a pagan ritual to bring in a tree to remind them that the spring is coming after the winter solstice. The church incorporated it to help get rid of the Pagan religion and force others to theirs. Now it's just a tradition."

The explanation was long winded but she figured it held all that had to, to help them understand.

"Hm…I guess you guys can't really help me decorate it huh? The seekers might." She looked over to where the Seekers usually hung out, at the top of the alcove in the living room. "What do you say mechs?" She called to them.

"I will not help in a ridiculous squishy holiday. Especially when it makes no sense." Starscream was not getting into the holiday despite Ivory's and Skywarp's efforts.

"I'll help!" Skywarp called and flew over, TC following knowing he'd get dragged into it anyway. "So what are we doing?"

"We're hanging up the ornaments on the tree. These ones are family ornaments that were given to me over the years." Ivory took on and put it up to show them and soon they were helping out and enjoying themselves. The Lambo twins even figured out a way to get them up there!

With the help of those that volunteered and even those that were dragged into it, the little house looked cozy and festive! "The house is finally ready for Santa!" Ivory claimed.

"That fat squishy said to visit a billion homes in a single night? You can't possibly believe in him." Shockwave put in. "It is not possible, even for someone with a warp drive like Skywarp's, to do so."

"So? Why can't I believe? Christmas miracles and all that."

"It's foolishnest that's why." Starscream put in.

"For once I agree with my second. It is a foolish notion to believe in." Megatron added, annoyed that this was even up for debate. "Now quit acing like a sparkling and go to bed." He ordered, done with these ridiculous festivities.

Ivory sniffed and left the room, only to come back with cookies and milk. "Fine. I'll go to bed. But cuz I want to, not cuz you told me to."

Despite trying her darndest, Ivory was still found out that night, trying to sneak the few presents she could get for them. But come the next morning there were definitely more there than had been before.

The bots were surprised but touched at how many Ivory had seemed to get them until she came downstairs and frowned. "You guys get each other presents then?"

"No. these are from you." Bumblebee clarified, making her aware they knew it was her.

"Dude after the telling off I got last night, I didn't bother putting anymore down." She picked one up and smiled. "Have any of you read the to and from spots?" The wrapping paper was vastly different from hers and in the spot from, was Santa.

Of course there was a lot of arguments about it, blame being put and fingers pointed, but overall everyone unwrapped their presents, and were pleasantly surprised at the things they got.

"Alright guys, picture time!" Ivory called once all the presents were unwrapped and everyone was preparing to go their separate ways for the day.

"Alright, on three, everyone say Merry Christmas!" She set up the camera, put on the timer and got ready to run into the picture. Everyone was posing, Jazz pulling Prowl in close, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker on either side of Ratchet while other couples came together.

"One! Two! Three!"

**click**

For years to come that picture held a special place in the picture book Ivory put together. When the toys slowly, one by one started to vanish back to their world, they each took with them a copy to remind them of their time, of the peace found at that time. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe kissing Ratchet on each cheek, while Bluestreak bashfully kissed Wheeljack under the mistletoe.

Megatron had an arm around Starscream while Skywarp and Thundercracker stood close together in a hug, instigated by Skywarp, but enjoyed by TC.

Each piece told a much larger story, but the grinning Ivory in the background, surrounded by toys turned to her closest friends and insane family, it held a much larger place in her heart.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

I'm a Transfan because…

I have at least one transformers ornament.

I've asked for TF things for Christmas.

I've asked Santa to bring me toys that come to life.

I wish that at night my toys did come to life

That I wish I had somebot like Prowl or Soundwave to help me study for finals.

That's all I got for now guys! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Happy Holidays! Be safe and remember: Family is forever, no matter the distance or blood!

~IvoryCrawler


End file.
